OK, I'm Listening!
Our third full day of the retreat, and we awoke to a winter wonderland, a rarity for many of my West Coast peers. I might be used to seeing snow for a good chunk of the year, but something felt different seeing snow where it’s not as commonplace and seeing it through others’ eyes. And the scene truly was beautiful—the bright snow seemed to amplify it all: beauty, color, texture, depth.
By the time I went for a walk in the afternoon, much of the snow had turned to a slushy mess, but much had also remained untouched and bright against the green ferns and cedar leaves. I trained my eye to the ferns and to the cedars and to the textures of moss on trees. I’m stopping to notice. And I snapped photos to capture it all.
One of the “messages from the universe” today was yet another truth bomb from Oliver Burkeman’s book that Anna shared during our morning session.
Find novelty not by doing radically different things but by plunging
more deeply into the life you already have.
WHOA.
I went into this retreat (and entire trip, truth be told) in an “if only” mindset: If only I could do my art/write/photograph full-time. If only I traveled more. If only I lived somewhere more exciting. If only I had a ton of in-real-life creative friends. Blah, blah, blah.
If I’ve realized anything these past few days, it’s that I have a choice to live a creative life and define it by my terms, not by whether it brings in income. I tend to be an all-or-nothing kind of person. For example: I can’t be an artist unless I do it full-time, why take a five-minute walk when a five-mile walk would “obviously” be better. But let me just call that what it really is: Bullshit. Every bit of it.
I can carve out a life made up of small creative acts, with one leading to the next and then the next. They will add up. And isn’t that what any kind of life is? An accumulation of all the small steps and moments?
Today marked our last full day of our creative retreat, and I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking I didn’t want it to end. I will be leaving, however, with a renewed commitment to myself and my creativity. Anna had us create mindmaps and creative roadmaps, and both, while still works in progress, are giving me ideas for shaping what life looks like today, tomorrow, and the next day.
Ironically enough, I already know what it looks like. I’m already doing the things. It’s now a matter of keeping at it. Continuing to show up as a creative human. Day after day after day.
The “big things,” whatever those might be or look like, will happen. But they’ll happen only because I commit to showing up for the small things first. That five-minute walk or 10-minute art break? They’re every bit as worth it.